Is marriage still relevant in modern relationships, or do traditional roles and expectations need to evolve?

Marriage and relationships have always been hot topics of debate, especially when it comes to traditional roles versus modern expectations. Where do you stand in this discussion? Many might assume I lean more toward traditional roles because I often emphasize the importance of masculine and feminine dynamics in relationships. I truly believe relationships work best when these roles are naturally embraced. However, it's important to clarify: I don't believe women should be confined to outdated stereotypes like being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.

I am an independent, self-sufficient woman who runs her own business. I believe that while traditional dynamics can create harmony, they must also adapt to modern realities.

Marriage Through Generations: A Shift in Norms

If we look back to the baby boomer generation, the societal pressure to get married before engaging in physical relationships was immense. Our parents’ generation often married young—around 20 to 24 years old—and if a woman got pregnant, marriage was the expected next step. Certain cultural and societal norms dictated that if you weren’t married and had a child, you’d face immense judgment.

Fast forward to today, and we see millennials grappling with different challenges. Many are hesitant to marry, not wanting to repeat what they perceive as their parents' mistakes. The landscape of marriage has evolved, and for many, the system feels outdated. Particularly for men, the legal consequences of divorce can be daunting. Without a prenuptial agreement, many fear significant financial losses. Custody battles are another area where men often feel disadvantaged—some believe the system is so skewed that unless the mother is severely unfit, fathers rarely gain equal custody.

The Modern Reality of Marriage

Marriage, as it stands today, can still be a beautiful institution. But it’s not always necessary for a fulfilling, committed relationship. Many people today are thriving in long-term partnerships without a marriage certificate. Some even argue that the legal binds of marriage can trap people in unhappy, even toxic, relationships.

Through my work as a coach, I’ve seen men who are terrified to leave their marriages because of the potential financial fallout or fear of losing access to their children. These men often feel like prisoners in their own homes, unable to escape because of the personal and financial cost of divorce.

This is where marriage reform comes into the conversation. Before younger generations—Millennials and Gen Z—embrace marriage again, there may need to be significant changes to ensure it remains a trusted and beneficial institution for all.

The Statistics and Emotional Realities

It’s worth noting that the divorce rate in America isn’t as dire as some claim. Around 65% of marriages remain intact, meaning that 35% of first marriages end in divorce. While these statistics offer some hope, they don't tell the whole story. Not every marriage that stays together is happy. People have more reasons than ever to avoid committing to marriage, and for good reason.

Marriage is a commitment—one that involves surrendering a bit of personal freedom. It’s a partnership where the other person gets close enough to know your vulnerabilities, and, in some cases, that proximity can lead to emotional pain.

A Personal Perspective

I got married at 23, to my wife, and we have been together for 15 years now. Our story is unique: we got engaged after just two weeks and married after 11 months. Despite the rapid timeline, our marriage has been a success. We’ve built a partnership based on mutual respect and trust, and we continue to grow together. Our relationship, while traditional in some ways, includes adaptations that work for us as individuals and as a couple.

It’s essential to recognize that every marriage is different. What works for one couple may not work for another. While traditional roles and marriage can still be fulfilling for some, modern partnerships should be built on choice, mutual respect, and flexibility—whether or not there’s a marriage certificate involved.